In exhilaration we forget that simple things can be happy too.

I search your face for a trace of emotion you used to so readily exhibit; any emotion. Some joy, excitement, jest, if you please. Instead there is only annoyance and something else unreadable. I turn to her and reply playfully trying desperately to keep things as light as possible, just like old times. Keeping up with a pretense. The conversation proceeds along casually - an onlooker sees no peculiarity. We're pretty good at this, eh? Like an incident and reflected ray our exchange deflect off a shiny surface, back and forth, back and forth. When I muster enough courage, I let my gaze flicker to your face a little while. I want to laugh at everything you are saying - I want to tell you I am happy because I am talking to you. But... I daren't linger too long. Fear and longing intertwined. How I yearn for the way your eyes used to light up when I spoke, for that easy rumbling laugh, for finishing my sentences then erupting into a fit of giggles, for that tender attentiveness - you hung on to my every word.
How come it'd never occurred to me before?
You won't even look at me now.
There is no happiness in that farce of a guffaw. Instead it rings something hollow, empty. It pains me, the truth of your subtle plea. The world may very well be deprived of your animated amusement forever.
I'm so sorry - it's my fault, all mine.

Prelim 2 results are okay I think I deserve all the Bs for not working hard enough - no excuses, only wrongs to right. I dare not be too happy because we all know what happy soon becomes and there is just no time for complacency. I keep telling myself there is still time in a bid to calm the fluster but truth is, there really isn't. 

It's not so much proving anyone wrong as proving yourself right.

Archives

» December 2008
» January 2009
» February 2009
» March 2009
» April 2009
» May 2009
» June 2009
» July 2009
» August 2009
» November 2009
» December 2009
» February 2010
» March 2010
» April 2010
» May 2010
» June 2010
» July 2010
» August 2010
» September 2010
» October 2010
» November 2010
» December 2010
» January 2011
» February 2011
» March 2011
» April 2011
» May 2011
» June 2011
» August 2011
» September 2011
» November 2011
» December 2011
» January 2012
» February 2012
» March 2012
» April 2012
» May 2012
» June 2012
» July 2012
» August 2012
» September 2012
» October 2012
» November 2012
» December 2012
» January 2013
» February 2013
» March 2013
» April 2013
» May 2013
» June 2013
» July 2013
» August 2013
» September 2013
» October 2013
» November 2013
» December 2013
» January 2014
» February 2014
» March 2014
» April 2014
» May 2014
» June 2014
» July 2014
» August 2014
» September 2014
» October 2014
» November 2014
» December 2014
» January 2015
» May 2015
» June 2015
» August 2015
» November 2015
» February 2016
» May 2016
» March 2019
» April 2019

Credits

Design & Image by : everl astingroses!
Icons from : brig htblinds
Header Quote by : Blaise Pascal