I wish we still had the time.

I wish we had taken every opportunity to try harder maybe play better. I wish we had not become tired of each other, moody, lazy, and subsequently lousy. I wish we had horsed around a little less, stopped playing so much of a fool. I wish we were less angsty, less vulnerable, more encouraging, more diligent. I wish we could start over, (but maybe that'd be a tad too much... I still don't have the confidence to make the right decisions every step of the way). I wish we'd made the effort to push each other to improve. I wish I had the guts to play with other people. I wish we still had games to play, games we haven't lost, games that weren't yet set in stone. I wish we'd done ourselves a little prouder. I wish we hadn't made so many unforgivable mistakes, said so many irretrievable words. I wish we had been more forgiving. I wish we never had to feel so small, so useless and unimportant. I wish we were as close as we used to be. I wish we had carried our promises with a little more faith. I wish we didn't have to look back and regret. I wish we had changed positively. I wish we could've helped each other grow a little more painlessly. I wish we could have made jiaolian laugh a little more heartily. I wish we had made jiaolian happier. I wish we didn't let each other down so much. I wish we didn't let ourselves down so much. I wish I hadn't been so useless and weak. I wish we could have been really pro and cool. I wish we didn't have to let Trini get scolded so much. I wish we didn't make so many excuses for our incompetency. I wish I had my hunger and thirst from before, I wish I didn't give myself so many excuses. I wish we weren't so flawed. I wish I never borne the thought of giving up. I wish we had Mr K earlier, not so many problems. I wish we didn't have to be so tired. I wish there weren't (aren't) awkward brackets of silence where we quietly conceal our disagreement. I wish I were less sensitive, more open to constructive criticism. I wish I weren't so chicken. I wish we had proper basic training. I wish physical pain was irrelevant. I wish we didn't have to suffer so many injuries. I wish I didn't have to grow to hate my own sport. I wish our teachers fought for our rights. I wish we were happy and innocent kids still. I wish I still love you all the way I used to (I love y'all in more ways than one but you know... It's evolved into a different kind). I wish we were more compromising. I wish jiaolian wasn't leaving. I wish we didn't have to face the ugliness of our society. I wish luck was on our side, hope was in our favour and we'd triumphed against all odds.

I just wish we had the luxury of time and a clean slate to put things right again.

Farewell was a success :D

So thankful it all went well and honestly it's the best event I've ever participated in heh. Credits to the 4 man SOT ;) though if you ask me they could've bawled a little more at the video so I guess that's why Azrin was a bit disappointed~ but ohwell she put in so much effort for the technical stuff and all the games! Damn pro /claps heheh. Thought the AR was going to be screwed up but heng it went okay (or i'd feel so bad D:::::::::) food was just a little bit too much so that's okay anw the seniors eat like dinosaurs :P and yt liked the present so yay :D the person who worked the hardest would have to be Trini, hands down (ok maybe Azrin coming in a close second) and jar did stuff too even if she says she didn't so I conclude we are awesome :-) so relieved it's finally over so we can finally sleep normally but there's nothing left to look forward to...

Honestly I don't think outer appearances are the most important factor in encouraging people to get to know you. Yeah sure, they do attract people to you, spark some interest - maybe jealously maybe lust. But what makes a person is their personality, hands down. The kind of people that draw you to them even as they look like a boring wallflower? That's real power. What captivates the world is the magical thing you exude - an aura. What makes this "aura"? Your personality. What you stand for, what you believe in and how you carry yourself. I would be enthralled by good humour rather than good figure any day.

Jenny was a poor girl living in a rich world named her baby hope when she was fourteen she was hoping for a better world for this little girl but the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree when she gets that call hope's too far gone her baby's on the way with nothing left inside together we cry

Short one now..

SO MANY THINGS TO DO I suck really why did I leave it to today T-T chem diagnostic's tmr and chalet too hopefully the seniors enjoy it x1234567890 :D we put in lots and lots of effort! Esp trini~ (oh well she's the brains we're the brawn) competition's the least of our worries now, even, can you imagine (nah)

I AM SO SELF CENTERED it's not even funny why have I become like that and so intolerant too I am so upset with myself grrrrrrrrrrr why ?????

Anyway, JIAYOU KIDS LOVE Y'ALL

I shall give myself 15 minutes to ratter on a bit.

It's been an exhausting week, really. So much to do, so much to be done, so much more to come. Got 4 hours of sleep per day on average to catch up on the undone (mentally kicks self) and do some more, though it's still nothing remotely close to enough. Tough, welcome to hell year beechas (lol too gangsta for me hahaha)

Didn't take any photos again on jar's bday seems like we never ever take any photos........ We are going to regret it for sure :-( hope she had a good day though I didn't think it was any good :-( sorry for the tentative lack of present kid.. I must make sure it's nice before I give you!!!!!

O's results were.. Idk just made me feel so fortunate and so lousy about myself at the same time haha. But I feel so motivated now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope it lasts till forever hahaha~ I really want to be proud of being proud of myself.

B'div starts next week... And no Vera D: it was all hopeful until now. Sigh~ but we still have to win, still have to get in~~~~~~~

It's been absolutely draining I can't imagine next week what with training on mon training on tues comp on weds training on thurs diagnostic and chalet on Friday gahahahaha let's get ready to die, kidz.

Anywho, going for a rainie yang concert tmr with the bunniez hahahaha so exciting!! Hope it's fun :~>

Ok my new year's resolution is to live 2013 without regrets :-)

P/S: I'm really proud of this kid, no matter how she fared. She'll never see this but her zest for life is just amazing she's amazing :-)

It's been 3 days. I'm really tired never really valued the relationship I have with my bed like I do now.

There's just something about me I can't put my finger to that is seriously flawed. It seems to have writhed its way through the good and ingested it all... somehow. I need some revitalization.. Some change, although I really am contented now, don't get me wrong. Something refreshing and new, (I mean something intangible btw). It's so.. Sneaky you know? How your wrong choices quietly turn into big mistakes turn into bad habits turn into a huge gaping hole in your morals. It's scary how little control we actually have over ourselves, or how useless we are at resisting change.. Maybe it really isn't meant to be denied.

On a side note, new subjects teachers' very first questions often include "tell me something interesting about yourself" and I am ever so horrified to realize there really isn't anything "interesting" about me here, not anymore, anyway. Only serves to dissuade me from trying to leave a remotely pleasant impression. Oh well, why bother right..

Time for more information nobody cares about! Bought new shoes cos the new balance one SUCKS feels just like running in heels ya... Excellent choice for training hahahaahha of course I'm kidding. Aasics have early a special place in my heart so... :-> even if it's a hundred and eighty six bux.... Lol jk what choice did I have it was from the men's section I really cannot afford to let it fail the spot check even if I do I will just keep wearing it until they give up on me. Bought a new pursey too maaaaaaan it's bloody cute hehehehehe. I shall not show you :b

P/S: my toe nail smells like a graveyard and a dumpster and maybe 3 decomposing hyenas

I don't want to go to school I am not prepared I'm so comfortable in my bubble right now can I not............

IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR same old shit