I wish we still had the time.

I wish we had taken every opportunity to try harder maybe play better. I wish we had not become tired of each other, moody, lazy, and subsequently lousy. I wish we had horsed around a little less, stopped playing so much of a fool. I wish we were less angsty, less vulnerable, more encouraging, more diligent. I wish we could start over, (but maybe that'd be a tad too much... I still don't have the confidence to make the right decisions every step of the way). I wish we'd made the effort to push each other to improve. I wish I had the guts to play with other people. I wish we still had games to play, games we haven't lost, games that weren't yet set in stone. I wish we'd done ourselves a little prouder. I wish we hadn't made so many unforgivable mistakes, said so many irretrievable words. I wish we had been more forgiving. I wish we never had to feel so small, so useless and unimportant. I wish we were as close as we used to be. I wish we had carried our promises with a little more faith. I wish we didn't have to look back and regret. I wish we had changed positively. I wish we could've helped each other grow a little more painlessly. I wish we could have made jiaolian laugh a little more heartily. I wish we had made jiaolian happier. I wish we didn't let each other down so much. I wish we didn't let ourselves down so much. I wish I hadn't been so useless and weak. I wish we could have been really pro and cool. I wish we didn't have to let Trini get scolded so much. I wish we didn't make so many excuses for our incompetency. I wish I had my hunger and thirst from before, I wish I didn't give myself so many excuses. I wish we weren't so flawed. I wish I never borne the thought of giving up. I wish we had Mr K earlier, not so many problems. I wish we didn't have to be so tired. I wish there weren't (aren't) awkward brackets of silence where we quietly conceal our disagreement. I wish I were less sensitive, more open to constructive criticism. I wish I weren't so chicken. I wish we had proper basic training. I wish physical pain was irrelevant. I wish we didn't have to suffer so many injuries. I wish I didn't have to grow to hate my own sport. I wish our teachers fought for our rights. I wish we were happy and innocent kids still. I wish I still love you all the way I used to (I love y'all in more ways than one but you know... It's evolved into a different kind). I wish we were more compromising. I wish jiaolian wasn't leaving. I wish we didn't have to face the ugliness of our society. I wish luck was on our side, hope was in our favour and we'd triumphed against all odds.

I just wish we had the luxury of time and a clean slate to put things right again.