You know that certain way people who know how speak like they know how? That edge they have and flaunt effortlessly? Feels like I've lost it; must've been my pride. Somehow the words refuse to come easily to me anymore.. Ideas refuse to formulate in my head, things refuse to fall into place. Maybe I've made them uncomfortable. Maybe it's just another thing I'm destined to lose. But I will exhaust every bone to refrain from believing that, because you live in what you believe in. Haven't really worked much this whole year, but I'm learning. Or at least I think I am, and I try to.

When are things resolved resolved, period? I like to think I have the power to choose what I want in the conclusion (even when I don't) but sometimes maybe you just have to resign to whatever life assigns you and maybe try to move on. Simple as it sounds it isn't half that easy. Things don't feel like the end because it just isn't the end I want. You put things on hold so you can go back to them and finish them off - the way you want. But sometimes things are put off for way too long they are impossible to get back to. So they are cut off midway, left hanging, roughly repackaged. It all happens too fast. The parcel's tied and sent before you can cancel the order - it's a pig in a poke, you realise. There are no returns and no refunds, clearly stated on the package. How now? You live with it and wait for something better.

Not choosing is a choice in itself. Faced with such, I am at a loss, really. It's all against one, actually. It is worth it, it is.

Shouldn't be here when I could be memorising some 名人名言.. But I really refuse to admit that I've lost the touch........... I will retrieve it, just you wait.