Week's over feels like it's cursed, really. You wouldn't believe how the stupid English TA affected our whole class. Not just that, of course..

Shame is when you do something wrong and the guilt rushes up your cheeks and you turn red. Embarrassment is when you are humiliated and the want to escape rushes up your face as red. It's all one to me, honestly.

Hey, I was just wondering if you will regret your decision? Because I'm pretty damn sure I will look back one day and regret this day. We are at the point of no return now there's no turning back, it seems. On second thought maybe you wouldn't regret after all. Regardless, I would like to apologize for all the pain we have caused you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to be a personal attack.. Guilt and shame were eating me up alive felt like I was running a fever that day. Kept wondering if I really were a two-faced bitch. Honestly fake is the last thing I'd want to be. It's not nice being called fake. Finally I would really like to applaud your strength. It isn't easy against more people and it definitely wasn't fair. So here we are now, ceasefire coldwar who wins? Turns out we both lose.

You make me feel really :-( sometimes. Have I ever made you so upset and not realise it before? Sigh. just when I was about to let myself go I am seized back into doubt. I am terribly dissatisfied with being everyone else. Silly me and my insecurity. no mood already lahh. How do I go around this?? :-((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

There are walls I put up, expecting, willing people to scale them. I refuse to see them fail. I selfishly believe they will succeed with the thought of getting to me. I have created a castle of doom, maybe loneliness. I will starve of love, of joy, of warmth and comfort. I will die and it is solely owing to my unhappiness.

To do list attached (if it even attached) and I want to die sometimes why all the wrong decisions why