actually i do like reading blogs of people my age. not exactly an obsession with what you're eating today, what you're wearing but more of how you think (and how you write, of course. i judge secretly like other human being)

i think being able to write well is more of a bonus than a requirement for good work. how you think and what you think is actually what matters. how you write, is well, just an outlet of better expression. This being said though, only applies to your first language because no matter how i try, my chinese is no where near impressive sigh. (or it could just be an excuse for my incompetence, again) In addition i think being able proficient in your first language is no where near amazing. Our world sets a rather high standard and that includes being coherent in something you ue every other day. So no points there, but it is still quite a bonus hmm. Being fluent in 2 or more languages, however, is the real challenge (hence translators are being paid so much). So yeah, never be content with what you have or what you are now, always aim to be better (what our world has taught us). Quite a bad link but yup that's a fact too.

Anyway, have been thinking about it this few days and I realise (and finally admit) that I have a severe lack of friends. Yes, I do know quite a few people, but will I (can I) really go to them in times of need? Then there are the friends i've lost because of well.. me and my issues bahahaha. Wrong time, wrong turns, wrong feelings sigh. Come back to me? Honestly I wonder how many people i will keep in touch with after graduation. (it's nearer than you think, now that's scary.) And i can't help but feel so alone. I'm not exactly depressed by the thought but I was wondering (seriously considering) making more friends.. I mean the close friends, not the type you have to constantly try to be funny around. Then again it's 3 years in and i'm not much of the social butterfly here i can't maintain an intelligent engaging conversation without trying too hard sometimes.. (i can only seem like it)

Then again, look how i'm going on like I own the world and everyone wants to be my friend LOL. maybe I really am not a good friend at all :-( maybe I need more fun and joy and some confidence anyone up? Hah I knew it I'm too high maintenance, aren't I? I'm going to die alone.. aren't I? If the presently negligible group of good friends I have somehow manage to drift away from me.. I might as well withdraw my application in society. The rate I'm posting on this blog is saddening.. it means I'm sitting at homegetting fat instead of going out and doing something with people.

Maybe I'm boring. I don't have a favourite band or movie or book or anything. I'm not into anything.. O_O sigh boring me is boring :-( Can someone interesting just come along into my life and be my fun?? Haha that's funny if they were really interesting, they'd be with other interesting people because birds of a feather flock together....? Sigh.

At the end of all this I think I'm just jeopardising my social life with my worrywart nature.. Usually the harder you look, the less likely you are to find something. So feel free to knock on my door anytime I offer friendship services :-)

Once again I have managed (successfully) to sound like a desperate creeper.

P/S: more evidence I am a creepy kid: when I read people's blogs I always think they're talking about me (ego much) when they're obviously not/I'm not close to them/ even better I don't know them at all..