I don't like this half aimlessness it causes me to do the bare minimum and not do well at anything and enjoy anything sigh. Can I be fully aimless?

No that is not possible in singapore's context.. Everyone has a place to go things to do I must be the same I must know what I want I must dream and then I must work for my dream I cannot slow down at all because I will lose and when I lose it means not making it big anywhere and possibly being unsuccessful so I must win, then? Doesn't it strike you though, where is the group that loses? I mean, more can everyone win? There are only so many places in society. The only way we all can win is to disqualify ourselves from the ratrace that is human nature. We can only beat time of we choose to disregard it. When you are happy and content, that's when you've truly won.

I am too conscious I need to lose myself.

I really cannot do anymore than this there is so much to do but all I am good at is slacking there are so many hours in a day but all I can do is sit and stone. I am not qualified to feel tire because I have done nothing, nothing at all. I want to get out of this bloody race it's suffocating.