My heart is holding its breath.

I grapple for taut rope as the blood rushes up to my head. I've been warm for a few days now. Sweat drenches my palms and feet, emerging from certain pores I never knew existed. Feels like I'd been climbing. I look down, big mistake. The ground is more than a light year away; it is a treacherous drop. Unknowingly, my harness falls away. The set gave me nothing but security; the protective measure was not much of a necessity with my skill and dexterity. Gone with the set is my confidence. Fear sets in like a little bitch. I am lead and my limbs are weak pockets of foam. Hypothetically I am floating on air - only if those bubbles don't pop. I cannot advance. I am entangled in trepidation and unsureness. So I rest for what feels like eternity. Inertia kicks in. She was right. I can feel my calves traipsing into a little spasmodic jig now, control is slipping away fast. Hurry, now, quick. Nary prepared, I will my left foot to step up, just a wee bit more. Good. Now right up, left up, right up; I fall into a momentum. Exhaustion triumphs then, as I lose my calm and alert. A slip of the hand is all it took. I hang away from the wall. The amplifying silence booming in my head. Might've just been my pulse, though. I hang in there (literally and figuratively) for 5 seconds. A feat, I must say. Then I fall.

It's exhilarating. I don't think about the ground. I am high up enough to enjoy the ride. Succumbing to the pleasure of the lightness in my head, I close my eyes. I am as light as a feather, as heavy as a rock. This is the end, this is the end. It feels surreal. An opposing force almost seems to cushion my fall at first. Must be the contact force the physics teacher kept droning on about.

Nlurgh. Not boom or splat or any of those main stream terms. It is the whisper of my skull cracking open like a coconut on paradise beach and the first slosh of my blood oozing out crimson red, almost a golden sparkle. Breeeeee my soul flutters out, a genie in bottle. I renounce the living. I am liberated from suffering. I float away. It has been one hell of a ride.