i think the way i think is too weird.

i don't even worry normally like normal people do. i probably worry about the way i'm worrying or something. see how i always kill myself in a paradox? (wait that's the right word right.) heh well.

christmas feels completely unchristmassy this year. even last night's dinner. but the turkey was good and all tho :> love the ham! hahah oh i got a new iphone cover as xmas present from dayi yay! love it cos the colours are so preety and the texture is so nice and the pictures are so cute and it glows in the dark!! is it freaking perfect or what ;) didn't go to jar's chalet whoops D: too rushed but i feel guiltyyy sigh since it was to celebrate her bday D: but i guess whether i'm there doesn't really make it difference right haha. and oh i spent the whole evening ytd doing that cursed feedback form and today too! took me like 5 hours to do mine??? ah well. haven't done any freaking thing today other than watch ring ring bell ep one hahaha i know i'm a bit crazy weird creepy but i can't help relate everything to in time. maybe cos i love in time too freaking much heehee. it's the same with people, i've realised. mmmm. christmas christmas hahahaha isn't it just any other day?? new year's too. everyday's the same right? i'm so scared of everything ugh why. so scared of the future. so scared of everyone. can you all just move on without me and yea have fun with your lives. i think i try to relate everything to everything else way too much. isn't it creepy though, knowing people secretly doubt you with every single move you make. i'd feel freaking intimidated.

well i don't trust you too. not anymore.

no no nothing happened. it's just.. sometimes my brain gets carried away all of a sudden and i just well, doubt everything. doubt my thoughts, doubt yours. doubt the present the past and the future. doubt my feelings doubt my heart. doubt my friendships. doubt my pretense. that's why i don't dare to think; i know i can't control my head anymore. ok i should be doing maths now i guesssssssss.

hope your christmas was better than mine! merry christmas :D bye! oh i really need a change of blogskin man.