hoho it's been sucha long while huh. i should blog more if not next time not enough memories! D:

ah i was reading my old posts. i sounded really really childish. and lame hahaha. but oh i sounded happy too. well. wanted to have a feel of how i was like last time yknow heh. sighhh when i read some of my posts i don't even know what i was talking about anymore. ahhh life's been preetty horrible i guess :) but oh, no big deal, i guess i've been through worse huh. i think only boob still reads my blog can please! hahaha ohh the way i speak has really changed. i used to be so.. chim and full of myself just because well, i had the right to. heheh. but now ah i don't know usually i end my sentences halfway because i don't even want to talk. pathetic? haha.

anywayyy i got 5G for stream :) but have to check with HODs to see if i got MSP and lit too. sometimes i just want to go to a new class alone. without anyone i'm close to because well, it'd be all back to square one. where i (more or less) have a choice of what to do with my life haha. but if i really had a chance, i'd regret. i'm sure i'll become a loner due to my mere lack of trying to fit in. it's tiring yknow, really tiring sometimes. i don't like people. i find it a chore to make small talk and get to know them. i feel self sustainable. IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME D: srsly hai. nowadays i don't even try. but life isn't so easy to ying fu. you can't just say you want to stop playing like that. because giving up is ending your life and suicide is greatly frowned upon in many countries. hahah i'm kidding never thought of that. i ain't weak. or so i try to tell myself. mmm back to topic. me not trying results in making things difficult for other nice kids who actually want to play the game of life and win at it. so to let them i'd better just crack a smile at the irony of everything, comment here and there once in a while. pretend to be happy. learning to live with life. force of habit? maybe one day i'll believe my lies.

ah thennn, wai gong's gone forever now. last sunday 6th nov. rest in peace okay love you :) coals next week! kinda excited and not excited? heh. supposed to be doing the script now but abit the slacking here ah <: hehehe. haha it's dangerous for me to be blogging here i might just start spilling the beans on anything and everything. i don't like how i speak now. instead of finding myself i think i have to create myself now. 我真的真的找不到我了.. aish. i don't know what i'm living for now. stupid humans and their stupid mao dun-ness hahaha. ok i must be delirious or sth gonna edit script now heh~

muackmuack. comebacksoonyounoob.i miss you.