it's not that I didn't care, it's that I didn't know;
it's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't show.

there are 3 parts to an apology:
i'm sorry.
it was my fault.
how can i make it up to you?

"Apologies only account for what they do not alter."
-Benjamin Disraeli

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth."
-Benjamin Disraeli

"Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past."
-Tryon Edwards

i'm so sorry :( i feel that i don't deserve to be forgiven yet.. i've let you down. i don't want to be just another one of the others who lets you down. please forgive me when i earn it okay? i feel so horrible.. you cannot be true to anyone unless you're true to yourself. so i should work on being true to myself first yea? haii i don't think i have that courage now. and i'm damn afraid you'll pretend to forgive me but still hold a grudge. please don't do that okay? i'm so afraid you won't give me another chance yknow. haii. why did i have to screw everything up. i'm so annoyingly ignorant. ugh i've condensed what i feel from like 10 pages to this tiny paragraph with the main points haha i could rattle on and on about how much i suck but i wouldn't wanna bore you.

so goodnight dears. sigh.