i can't remember another time i wanted something so much. so badly.

believe it or not, i think the other time i wanted something HALF as badly was to get into bball. haha i bet you don't believe it. but 'sokay. this is just me being sad + regretful + self-pitying + pathetic. i reaaaally regret not listening to julia and buying the tix with her last time. but oh, how would i know i would be so in love with them now :( ahhh if only i could go and see them in fleshhh i would die a happy girl. but now i'm just stuck here living my life. god knows when they'll come back man. imma try to console myself that they'll come back next year. AND I'LL SAVE MONEY SO NO PRESENTS FOR YALL MUAHAHAHA. but what if they don't. ah crapping hell. the thought of it is unbearable. yknow i used to tell people that they're crazy to be so in love with kpop when their idols will never everrr remember them even if they see them once or smth. but someone just told me that and i realise how deeep i am into this shit. kpop ruins your life. please don't get into it. also, this is a perfect example of how i've changed into everything i've ever disliked. i didn't use to get how people could be so crazy over stuff like this, but now i know. now i know. and the fact that i'm this crazy in love with something is really scary actually. who knows what i'll do to see them. sighh. i wanna go back to the times when i was so pure and innocent. just a cute kid who didn't know anything about anything. didn't know bad words, didn't know what love was (okay i still don't know thank goodness), didn't know how to bitch, didn't know how to hate. but oh, it's impossible. these things are like virginity haha. once you lose it you'll never get it back. haii.

okay i think i'm done ranting. how did i just crap a whole chunk on not going to see them :O i must be awfully sad. ahh.

Love behh.

i prom15e to 13elieve in super jun10r <3